Music speaks to me in a way nothing else seems to do. I spent my whole life dreaming of singing and playing music for people.
As a young child, I would record my creations on my parents giant 1990’s sound system. Or belt out Sarah McLaughlin, Alanis Morrisette and Celine Dion from my bedroom for my whole neighbourhood to hear.
I remember my mom encouraging me to sing louder in the car as we rocked out to Queen and Elton John. Those were some good times.
I knew without a doubt, that this was my path.
I am a singer. And I am going create a career in music.
I didn’t know how it would look or how it would happen, but that core truth was there waking me up day after day.
I sang in plays, choirs and with friends all through public school. It was all happening and I was loving it.
Something happened when I entered highschool though…
Suddenly I wasn’t the Uber talented singer from my little country school with only 6 girls in my class. There were SO many other talented people in this big city highschool.
“How could I compete with them?
I wasn’t nearly as talented or good enough.”
I digressed, tucked myself away and feared the rejection if I were to ever put myself out there.
It wasn’t until my brother asked me to play a song with him in the Christmas Show that I muscled up the courage to sing that one song.
The floodgates opened and I felt myself come alive again.
Ahhhh there it was.
Me again. Singing for people.
The artsy folk at school befriended me and the Music/Vocal Teacher invited me to join her class even though I had zero pre-requisites.
I went through a year of getting back to my voice, getting critiqued and coached, having the time of my life.
Highschool ended and I applied for the Music Program at University along with a few other “safe” options…You know, to pay the bills, get benefits and a pension.
To my great surprise, I was accepted into the music program!! Now to fly off to the audition.
Except I chickened out and didn’t show up.
All those negative thoughts came up of not being good enough and what would other people think…”you’re going to go into the music biz???”
I spent the next decade partying and taking education that would land me in that “safe and acceptable” workplace.
Music was set aside and left for the end of the night after the bar when I could belt out those tunes without worrying what everyone thought.
A slippery slope of addiction and a whole slew of self loathing perpetuated as I meandered through my 20’s.
While I was travelling one year, I was offered a job as a recording studio assistant at the Banff Centre, which I declined to start a medical program at a college close to home.
I was afraid. Of pretty much everything. So I stayed small, far away from my dreams and in the known reality.
Music was still on the back burner, playing the odd open mic or wedding, but mainly in my basement where no one could hear me or with friends after having one too many drinks.
It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I decided to bring my old guitar camping with some friends to share a song I wrote for them that life shifted again.
They loved it! I even started a band with one of the girls and we began playing gigs together, sharing our original music with our community and having the time of our lives.
Quarantine hit and gigs were few and far between. As time went on, the band slowly parted ways to work on projects that were more aligned.
The option to digress was no longer there.
There was only one option. To keep playing. To keep writing. To keep singing.
Music hits deep in the soul and for those who answer the call, I encourage you to keep going.
There will be roadblocks and curves in the road.
There will be tests and choices to be made.
What I’ve witnessed is this…if this is meant to be for you, opportunities will continue to present themselves.
And present they did…
In beautiful, surprising ways.
So stay open and get clear on what you desire.
Cause it’s coming for you…when you’re ready and sometimes when you’re not.
What I know is this, let go of that negative voice in your head saying you can’t and replace it with one that says you can.
Practice your craft and hone your skills.
Stop holding yourself back and create what you came here to create.
Then let the universe surprise you.
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